Kissed By The Rose

I woke up on Friday morning feeling very low. I had received a phone call from my Consultant the previous evening saying my scan results were not yet available and that there was no point attending my Consultation in the morning. But he quickly picked me up by saying he would call as soon as they came in and I tried to stay positive as I hoped for the news that the Cancer hadn't spread. However as the day went by, and there was still no phone call, it was difficult to maintain an optimistic mentality - I just wanted to know what the scans showed.

It was getting later and later, and I still hadn't heard from the Consultant, soon it hit 5pm and I was resigned to the fact I'd now have to wait until Monday to hear the results. The thought of them playing on my mind over the whole weekend frustrated me, so I decided to go shopping to take my mind off the hospital, and cheer myself up a little! As soon as I got into the car, ready to drive to Bluewater my mobile rang, it was a blocked number and I knew immediately that it was my Consultant. As I sat in the car I froze for a second and stared at the phone. A mixture of emotions surged through me and, for a second, I even contemplated ignoring the call. I wanted so much for him to tell me the rest of the scans were clear, that I didn't want to give him the chance to tell me anything different. But instinct kicked in, and I watched my thumb hit the 'answer' key, and I raised the phone to my ear as he spoke.

"I'm going to tell you what I know, which I know is never enough for you, Natasha" he started. And I smiled as he went on to say that there was absolutely no changes to the scans when he compared them to the last set of images I'd had taken back in December. The Cancer hadn't spread, it hadn't even grown in my liver; nothing has changed.

I cannot put into words the delight and relief and emotion that poured out of me in that moment, it was the best news I could have hoped for. My consultant went on to explain that the Transplant Surgeon had still not heard back from the Board of Surgeons on their decision to back his support for my transplant, but I told him I could wait a few days for that! I had the news I wanted, even if the Board said no to a transplant, now at least I knew the 'back-up' operation that the Transplant Surgeon had discussed with me was possible, because the rest of my scans were clear.

My consultant also explained that he has asked two independent Oncologists to put together a report for the board, advocating my case for a transplant. In the report there would be evidence of how rare my specific case is due to the fact the cancer has not spread, and I have been clear else where for seven years now... I should find out early next week what the Board's decision is.

So there you have it, another of life's blessings, another Kiss from the Rose...