The Patient Patient

So disappointed. My transplant consultant is on holiday this week, and so I saw a member of his surgery team in clinic, even though I specifically asked to see him. The doctor I saw had absolutely no idea who I was, and had no answers for me, how worrying is that? I have been waiting nearly three months for a decision on the possibility of a transplant, and still the surgical team know nothing about my case.

How much longer do they think I should wait? Until it has spread a little, so a liver transplant would prove ineffective? Or maybe until it has spread all over in which case no form of treatment would prove effective?

What frustrates me the most is I know I can fight this. I've done it before, many times, and I'll do it again. And I'm ready to fight. But I'm standing face to face with the enemy in an open battlefield, with no weaponry, nothing to back me up.

And so, the agonizing wait for someone else to make up their mind as to what should happen in this next stage of my life continues.